I’m going to keep this one short…

Recently I’ve been thinking about how people growing up in our society think that it’s ok to speak to other people with no respect, kindness or compassion. I’ve realised that people can be truly nasty in how they speak to one another and it makes me feel so sad and angry.

Although it sounds cliché words DO hurt. People DO have feelings and how we speak to people DOES impact them.

You only have to look at the news to see how damaging words can be. They are powerful and if filled with ammunition can be extremely detrimental to our mental health.

So today I urge you to choose kindness. You have the freedom and choice to decide how you want to use your words. So please please please choose respect, kindness and compassion. It costs nothing to be kind.

B x

I think that the scariest thing about recovery is that it’s in your hands. Nobody else can do it for you. You are the only person who can bring about change. For me this is terrifying. I don’t feel strong enough, brave enough or powerful enough to overcome the Demons in my head. But, I can’t let that stop me.

For me recovery seems impossible right now. I feel weak, tired and beaten. But, deep down I know that if I want to live my life and achieve great things I need to stand up to my illness and get rid of it once and for all because, if I don’t it will continue to take so much away from me.

I have no idea how to go about recovery. There’s no rule book or set of instructions to follow in order to get better. And that is daunting and scary. But, recovery comes in many shapes and sizes and is different for everybody. And that makes sense because, if it was the same for everyone then getting better would be easier. We could all follow the same steps and achieve a state of recovery quicker. Unfortunately it’s not that easy.

Recovering is going to be hard and it is going to be painful and difficult and distressing and so many more things. But it will also be the most rewarding liberating joyous experience once you’ve achieved it. Imagine a life where you’re not stressing about what you’re going to have for your next snack or what you’re going to eat when you go out for that meal with a friend or worrying about your appearance or stressing so much about anything and everything. Imagine that…

That life is possible, that life is within your reach. You are brave strong and resilient and can achieve anything you put your mind to. Nothing about recovering is easy or straightforward. It will probably be the most confusing journey you’ll ever go on but it will make you so much stronger.

Don’t let your illness define who you are any longer. Take control. Embark on your journey. You CAN do this!

B x

Today I found a letter that my sister wrote for me a few years ago. In the letter she wrote about how she wanted me to get better because she hated seeing me sad all the time. 3 years on from the letter and my mental illnesses have a stronger hold of me and and now dictate most areas of my life, so I can’t imagine how she feels now.

It makes me so angry that my mental illnesses don’t just affect me but also my family and friends. It’s not fair. I don’t want them to continue living in constant fear about the consequences my actions will have on my future. And I certainly don’t want my sister, who’s only 14, to have to give up her happiness to try and support me.

So, from now on whenever I feel particularly bad I’m going to try my best to think about the impact of my actions on my family. Right now I don’t care about the way I’m feeling so I don’t want to get better for me. Instead of giving up I’m going to choose recovery for my family.

Even though I’m not recovering for myself at the moment it doesn’t mean that it’s going to be easy. All the resistance will still be there but I will have a goal to achieve in order to reduce my families worry about me.

Please remember that there isn’t a set of instructions to follow in recovery. If you can recover for you that’s great but if you can’t that’s also great. It doesn’t matter how you achieve your goals in recovery it’s actually achieving them that counts.

B x

At 17 years old I should be living my best life and going out and having fun. Instead I’m at home either studying or stressing out about EVERYTHING! It’s sad seeing all my friends enjoying themselves whilst I’m at home feeling rubbish. It’s taken me a while to realise that this way of life is not sustainable…I need to learn how to live and not just exist.

When someone pointed out to me that I’m merely existing I was taken aback. I acknowledged that my life wasn’t perfect and I wasn’t doing what my friends were doing but I was getting by. Yes, I wasn’t happy everyday or itching to get out of bed every morning but I was functioning. And then it hit me. I’m literally just functioning. I’m doing the bare minimum to get through each day.

Realising that this is what I’ve been doing for so long has terrified me. It’s made me doubt the trust I have within myself because I feel like I should have noticed it sooner. Regardless of this fear I’m still struggling to figure out how to live. The obvious thing to do would be to go out of my comfort zone and meet up with my friends and to be a bit more care-free…if only it was that simple!

At the moment I’m not too sure how to overcome this situation. In time I hope that the support I’m getting today will enable me to challenge my beliefs and share my experience with others to help them and to show that change is possible.

Getting to a point of being able to live again seems impossible for me right now. I’m not going to suggest that it’s going to be easy for myself or anyone else (because it’s not), but I understand that my brain needs time to rewire it’s thinking processes. I don’t want my life to be defined as someone who just existed. If you’re sat reading this and feeling like you’re not living your best life take a minute to evaluate if there’s anything you can do to overcome this so that you can reach your full potential and lead a happier life.

B x

“Sometimes you have to get knocked down lower than you have ever been, to stand up taller than you ever were-unknown”

Hi I’m boo. I’m inviting you to join me in my journey through the confusing and sometimes traumatic teenage years. My heads not always a good place to be but perhaps we can work it out together?

B x